Monthly Archives: July 2009

Born of Frustration

This past weekend is as close as I have come to finally growing up and quitting playing cricket.  The sense of disillusionment felt over the weekend’s events left me questioning why I bother.

The timeline – Friday, mid afternoon and the skipper emails the team list and directions to the ground in Dalgety Bay.  We have 9 players, but as we beat them comfortably earlier in the year while similarly short handed it’s not at this point a concern.

Friday 6:30pm and Mrs C informs me she’s going to have to work Saturday afternoon, leaving me with Master C, except it’s now too late to call off and leave the team with eight bodies.  He’ll just have to come with me, not ideal, but best I can do.

Saturday 11am – skipper calls.  It seems the 2nd XI captain threw his toys out the pram at midnight over not being able to get a full team out.  He’s told the club president to “stick it” and flounced off.  As a result of league rules, we cannot default a 2nd XI game and fulfil a 3rd XI one.  This means that six of the 3rd XI are co-opted into the 2’s to go play at Livingston.  The 3’s have to default, which means we get credited with a loss and 0 points.  We slip from second to third in the table and lose the promotion slot we’ve been working bloody hard for.

Saturday 1230 – turn up at Livingston’s ground, and it’s possibly the wettest cricket field I’ve ever had to play on.  We probably should have refused to play, as a bowler, I found it near impossible to bowl as my front foot would slide out from under me every time…the crease looked like a ploughed field by the end of my six over spell.  We bowled fairly well, despite it all and dismissed them for 165.  At 97 for 2 with around 20 overs left we looked to be well on course, we then somehow contrived to collapse to 114 all out.  Not the greatest day all round.  Despite more than half the team jumping five divisions in the space of an hour that morning, we should have given a better account of ourselves.

The good news is that we still carry promotion in our own hands, if we match the results of Edinburgh up until the last game of the season, we play them in a winner take all clash.  The sticky bit is going to be in fulfilling our games as it seems players are getting a bit pissed off with all the political manoeuvring.


Who makes adverts?  Or more to the point, who is responsible for deciding that some of them are the best representation of their product/brand?

I can’t be the only person hoping Gloria Hunnifords’ cholesterol level shoots up to fatal very very soon, or that bint in the Sainsbury’s ad, chokes on one of her sossaigezzz…and as for that kid who want’s to do a poo at Pauls…..a swift slap across the chops is required there.

I don’t think I’ve ever bought something because of an advert.  I tend to buy the same brands I’ve always used, or if I see something on the shelf that looks nice, I may try it, but never do I see an ad, and think ‘of course, why haven’t I seen it before, that’s exactly what I need’ and rushed out to get it first chance I got.


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Filed under Cricket, Current Events

I’m Learning to Fly…

..but I ain’t got wings.

Lunchtime, and I’m reading through the news on the BBC.  I stumble across this article  Amongst the usual bluster and scoffing, this paragraph caught my eye:

“Ryanair also confirmed it had been in talks with European safety regulators about proposals to allow passengers to stand on its flights.”

So, the airline that wants to charge its customers for going to the toilet now plans to introduce standing!!  I’m intrigued as to how this will work.  I once traveled 50 odd miles standing in the aisle of a bus as there was a shortage of seats.  It wasn’t pleasant.  I’ve stood on the Tube, I’ve stood on packed city center busses.  Everytime the driver, each one a frustrated Lewis Hamilton, stands on the brakes, or accelerator you are pitched forward/back with a fair amount of violence.  Strikes me that standing in the aisles of a plane during takeoff and landing is a great way to get dead!

It can’t be that people will be required to sit for these parts of the flight then can stand the rest of the way as this is basically allowable now.  They wouldn’t be able to cram more people on and charge a premium for a seat if that was the case either, and let’s face it, Michael O’Leary exists to make money, so this has to be about profit in some way shape or form.  Are they planning on installing some sort of padded ‘pen’ for people to stand in?  How else would they be able to get the trolley down the aisle to sell the cattle those £5 sandwiches?

If this comes in, how long will it be before wingwalking becomes a legitimate technique of travel?  Or planes become like the Indian train below!

Ryanairs dream

Ryanair's dream


Is anything more depressing than a Saturday when the cricket is cancelled?  There I was, just getting my kit bag packed when the text came through to say we were rained off.  Yes, I could do other rewarding things with the family, but as it’s hosing down cats and dogs outside that becomes an expensive proposition.  Besides which Mrs C has other ideas and the “Emergency Honey Do” list is brought out.  Domestic tidying and a pile of ironing, woo-hoo!  My favourite.  Thank the gods for TMS.  Somehow ironing becomes a joyous task when Blowers is allowed to regale you with tales of pigeons and seagulls and cranes and just occasionally the cricket.

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Filed under Current Events, Travel

Hey Mr Bank Manager…

I’m skint, not just “hmm, can’t afford a coffee” skint, “would join you for a beer but can only afford a coke” skint, but struggling to pay the bills, behind on the maxxed out credit cards skint.  How did I get here?  Let me count the ways…..

Income is down, Mrs C has developed a habit of becoming tired of jobs that pay reasonably well, and regularly, leaving them to take on personal dreams that never pay out.  First it was the time she got into scrap-booking, became a party plan consultant for Creative Memories and set out on the road to riches selling the over priced bits of paper and cutting tools no self respecting yummy mummy who lunches can live without.  Big problem being, we don’t know any of those types of women, and don’t live in that sort of area.  Sales were not good.  She hit upon the idea of producing bespoke albums for people.  Set up a website, produced fliers, went to fayres etc and did one album.  Eventually we got her back into a job.  It was going well, was publicly funded and she enjoyed it.  Then she got the invite.

Candle party.  What the frack was a candle party???  Think Tupperware, or Ann Summers, but with candles rather than similarly shaped rubber items.  She was targetted by the woman presenting the candles and eventually succumbed to her pitch, signing up as a consultant, rounding up people to host parties and earning commission for sales.  They did a real number on her, turning her head with huge potential earnings.  So far??  nada, and it’s getting worse.  The economic situation is such that no one wants to spend many on such fripperies at the moment.  Our cards took a hit just to allow us to survive week to week, and now….suddenly it’s all imploded.

Can I get help???  In short, no.  No matter what you try to tell these companies, and what documentation you give them, they still expect you to be able to conjure up large sums of money at the drop of a phone call.  Plus, it’s hard enough trying to talk through the fuck up you’ve made of your finances with a friend, let alone some faceless Philippino in a call centre on the outskirts of Manila.  It’s not their fault the heavily accented english is unintelligable, nor can they be blamed for having to read from a script, and not being able to deviate from it, but these are circumstances that call for some degree of flexibility.  It’s not that I don’t want to pay, just that I physically cannot pay at the moment.

Still, it could be worse.  My younger brother has gotten himself in all sorts of bother.  His wife has left him, they will be divorcing at the earliest opportunity, he is left in the marital home, it’s been up for sale for nearly a year.  Hardly anyone is buying at the moment, and when they do get an offer in, she rejects it as it’s not enough.  He’s unable to pay the mortgage on his own and she’s not willing to give him any money towards it.  But, frankly, I don’t blame her.  When she was contributing, he wasn’t using it to pay off the mortgage.  He’s gotten himself addicted to webcams.  The ones with Eastern European or Asian ladies flashing their bits and rubbing their clits.  Or inserting various objects into various orifices.  I’ve frequented the odd sight in my time.  I’m not proud of it, and I can see how easy it would be to get addicted to it, depsite the fact that it is amongst the least erotic of erotic experiences you could have.  Many of the girls are straight to the point, demanding to “go my private” without any preamble, all about the cash.  I was suprised how many mature ladies there are involved in this stuff, mostly from the comfort of their own homes.  The younger girls and particularly the Asian ones seem to be working in “battery porn” operations, where you can hear the “pleasured” yelping of the girl next door.  These tend to be the ones for whom it’s all about the cash, generally as they have a pimp sat watching them.  Some girls are however, really good at what they do, they make you feel you are the only person they are talking to, that you are special, and you end up spending large sums of money just to talk to them….this is what happened to bro.  Personally, if you are topless in front of a webcam “talking” to Olga from Ukraine and haven’t noticed your wife come in, then alarm bells should start ringing.  He “doesn’t have a problem”, but, he’s been reduced to knocking on the neighbours doors to borrow money for petrol just to get to work.  These are neighbours who know why his wife left him.  I wouldn’t be able to face them in the street, let alone beg for money from them.  My parents have of course, bailed him out.  They don’t have any money either, yet, somehow, they’ve found some for him.


One week later……..

Just made the most difficult phone call I’ve ever made.  Asking my dad for money!!  What have I come too??  One of my credit card debts has just been passed to a collection agency.  Very kindly they’ve offered a settlement figure of £8950, a saving of over £2k on the total outstanding.  Hmm, let me see, I can barely afford to offer them £50 a month!!!  Well, Pops is going to get Mother to phone back when she returns from work…..I dunno, maybe things will get sorted out, but right now, it doesn’t feel like it….just keep the medicine cabinet shut!

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Filed under debt, Whinging

It’s been a long time coming…

Yes, I have been derelict in my duties and have failed to blog for a few days….what can I say?  Nothing….sometimes the motivation just isn’t there.

So, what’s been occurring since last time?  Same old same old i guess.  We crushed Smellies by many runs two weeks ago, Hoffy scoring a 3s record 181 not out.  Were rained off against the Imans and then on Saturday spanked Marchmont by 140runs.  We’re second in the table, and promotion is there for the taking.

I’ve been confused with my 60 year old father in law by a half blind DJ….the only thing we have in common is glasses.  Hell, he even has more hair than me!!

It’s been Wimbledon fortnight, the two weeks of the year when everyone becomes a Tennis expert.  I’m not a fan of that Federer bloke.  He’s just too pristine, too I don’t know, but there’s something not right.  I mean, the man doesn’t even appear to sweat.  There’s Roddick, cap dripping, shirt soaked through, and Roger, all like he’s just stepped out of the salon.  I fear he’d throw a major wobbly if he got even a speck of dirt on his whiter than whites…he’s just not natural.

Somewhere on the right (over there ——>) there’s a link to my ME7 playlist….have a listen.  It’s another “Spotify” style site, but the ad’s are a little more in-yer-face.  Still, enjoy the tuneage.

Right, that’s it for now.  I something to get off my chest later, but I’ll be saving that for it’s own entry.  Hasta manana…

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Filed under Cricket, Current Events, Sport