Hey Mr Bank Manager…

I’m skint, not just “hmm, can’t afford a coffee” skint, “would join you for a beer but can only afford a coke” skint, but struggling to pay the bills, behind on the maxxed out credit cards skint.  How did I get here?  Let me count the ways…..

Income is down, Mrs C has developed a habit of becoming tired of jobs that pay reasonably well, and regularly, leaving them to take on personal dreams that never pay out.  First it was the time she got into scrap-booking, became a party plan consultant for Creative Memories and set out on the road to riches selling the over priced bits of paper and cutting tools no self respecting yummy mummy who lunches can live without.  Big problem being, we don’t know any of those types of women, and don’t live in that sort of area.  Sales were not good.  She hit upon the idea of producing bespoke albums for people.  Set up a website, produced fliers, went to fayres etc and did one album.  Eventually we got her back into a job.  It was going well, was publicly funded and she enjoyed it.  Then she got the invite.

Candle party.  What the frack was a candle party???  Think Tupperware, or Ann Summers, but with candles rather than similarly shaped rubber items.  She was targetted by the woman presenting the candles and eventually succumbed to her pitch, signing up as a consultant, rounding up people to host parties and earning commission for sales.  They did a real number on her, turning her head with huge potential earnings.  So far??  nada, and it’s getting worse.  The economic situation is such that no one wants to spend many on such fripperies at the moment.  Our cards took a hit just to allow us to survive week to week, and now….suddenly it’s all imploded.

Can I get help???  In short, no.  No matter what you try to tell these companies, and what documentation you give them, they still expect you to be able to conjure up large sums of money at the drop of a phone call.  Plus, it’s hard enough trying to talk through the fuck up you’ve made of your finances with a friend, let alone some faceless Philippino in a call centre on the outskirts of Manila.  It’s not their fault the heavily accented english is unintelligable, nor can they be blamed for having to read from a script, and not being able to deviate from it, but these are circumstances that call for some degree of flexibility.  It’s not that I don’t want to pay, just that I physically cannot pay at the moment.

Still, it could be worse.  My younger brother has gotten himself in all sorts of bother.  His wife has left him, they will be divorcing at the earliest opportunity, he is left in the marital home, it’s been up for sale for nearly a year.  Hardly anyone is buying at the moment, and when they do get an offer in, she rejects it as it’s not enough.  He’s unable to pay the mortgage on his own and she’s not willing to give him any money towards it.  But, frankly, I don’t blame her.  When she was contributing, he wasn’t using it to pay off the mortgage.  He’s gotten himself addicted to webcams.  The ones with Eastern European or Asian ladies flashing their bits and rubbing their clits.  Or inserting various objects into various orifices.  I’ve frequented the odd sight in my time.  I’m not proud of it, and I can see how easy it would be to get addicted to it, depsite the fact that it is amongst the least erotic of erotic experiences you could have.  Many of the girls are straight to the point, demanding to “go my private” without any preamble, all about the cash.  I was suprised how many mature ladies there are involved in this stuff, mostly from the comfort of their own homes.  The younger girls and particularly the Asian ones seem to be working in “battery porn” operations, where you can hear the “pleasured” yelping of the girl next door.  These tend to be the ones for whom it’s all about the cash, generally as they have a pimp sat watching them.  Some girls are however, really good at what they do, they make you feel you are the only person they are talking to, that you are special, and you end up spending large sums of money just to talk to them….this is what happened to bro.  Personally, if you are topless in front of a webcam “talking” to Olga from Ukraine and haven’t noticed your wife come in, then alarm bells should start ringing.  He “doesn’t have a problem”, but, he’s been reduced to knocking on the neighbours doors to borrow money for petrol just to get to work.  These are neighbours who know why his wife left him.  I wouldn’t be able to face them in the street, let alone beg for money from them.  My parents have of course, bailed him out.  They don’t have any money either, yet, somehow, they’ve found some for him.

—————————

One week later……..

Just made the most difficult phone call I’ve ever made.  Asking my dad for money!!  What have I come too??  One of my credit card debts has just been passed to a collection agency.  Very kindly they’ve offered a settlement figure of £8950, a saving of over £2k on the total outstanding.  Hmm, let me see, I can barely afford to offer them £50 a month!!!  Well, Pops is going to get Mother to phone back when she returns from work…..I dunno, maybe things will get sorted out, but right now, it doesn’t feel like it….just keep the medicine cabinet shut!

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Filed under debt, Whinging

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