5, 6, 7, 8, gonna make you mine, better get in line….

Tiger Woods eh?!? Playa!

They say there’s danger off the tee, but who know a fluffed drive could go so horribly wrong. The only big question left is whether or not his attempts at course design stop at nine holes, or did he have the stamina to complete a full 18 hole course?

The list of “conquests” so far include a porn starlet, a ‘$5 an hour’ waitress (makes a change from a $5000 an hour hooker), a clubber and a socialite. A clubber?? Presuming that’s not someone who makes a living in the baby seal industry, since when did clubber become a profession? How does one apply for such a post? Does it pay more than the opportunity to become another notch on a frustrated golfers 3-wood? I guess socialite is a rung further up the career ladder than clubber. Socialite’s get invited to parties, clubbers just crash them.

Golf has always seemed a bizarre game to me. It’s practitioners are lauded for their ability to get the ball from one manicured piece of turf to another. Where’s the challenge? ‘Extreme’ Golf is the way forward. Get in among the long stuff, where the dog turds, half bricks, used drug paraphernalia and discarded beer cans lurk. The sight of a few of the pampered professionals hacking their way out of some gorse bush, chased by an irate chav would make the sport so much more appealing. (That said, some of the bush Tiger has been hacking around in can only be described as extreme).

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Last Friday saw the borefest that is the World Cup draw made. It’s an extended festival of the dull, that even exceeds the National Lottery draw for pointless over extension. At least it ha Charlize Theron, there’s a woman who could make grass growing an interesting diversion.

England managed to get their hot ball in to the pots. Nice safe-ish draw for them. Quarter Finals is the minimum they should be achieving, sadly the competition will be spoiled on TV here with all the rampant jingoism and refusal to believe that it’s not England’s God given right to make at least the semi final, but moreover to win the competition. A dose of realism should be required for all commentators and pundits. Give us facts not blind optimism. Yes, England have a chance, and I’d like to see them go well, but, there are probably half a dozen teams in genuine contention to win the trophy.

There will be a World Cup prediction competition going up on these pages at some point between now and July…..

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