Don’t Fear the Reaper

It seems the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse are abroad. It’s a bizarre turn of events but performers who once fought it out to be declared public enemy number one are now being reinvented as cuddly purveyors of all things wholesome on our TV screens every day.

The first harbinger of doom out of the blocks was Mr Johnny “Rotten” Lydon. He may well have been the antichrist, an indeed an anarchist, but these days he sells us butter.

He was followed by ‘Famine’ and ‘Pestilence’ in the emaciated shape of one Iggy Pop and a Chuckie-esque rubber mini-me style representation of himself. It’s unclear whether he’s selling golf, time or car insurance, but none of these would’ve interested “The Passenger”.

Now we have Death himself, disguised as Alice Cooper. Not content with extolling the virtues of not throwing a TV from a hotel window, but instead trading it in, he can now be heard providing the sound track to a breakfast cereal advert. Not just any breakfast cereal mind, but one aimed at children.

It’s only a matter of time before Hitler and Stalin team up to tell us what a good idea sponsoring a dog is.

On the subject, Mr Renault, the motor car has been at the centre of every major revolution in human life has it? Funny, I don’t recall mention being made of the nobles being driven to meet Madame Guillotine..

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This summer will see the end of an era, for me at any rate. I won’t be playing cricket. I’ve officially hung up my bowling callous, and decided to satisfy my inner geek by becoming a part time scorer. Other than being a closet nerd, I’ve always enjoyed the art of scoring a match and recording the stats. If I could get paid for it, I would. It’s probable that part of the charm lies in the fact that so many people find the arcane ways of the scorer to be incomprehensible, that and the fact that I wanted to be Wendy Wimbush when I was younger. Not in the ‘lop bits off and take lots of hormones’ sense of be, but to be there, watching top quality sport in the company of some of the icons of commentary. That for me would be ‘job satisfaction’.

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Haiti, once synonymous with voodoo, now inextricably linked to earthquakes. Whilst what has occurred there over the last few days has been disastrous for it’s population, it once again illustrates a couple of things.

Firstly, just how quickly emergency appeals can be set up. It seems that barely had the rumbling faded away than there was a phone number and website created by DEC. Do they have forewarning?

Amazingly, given these times of recession, money has been found by Joe and Josephine Public to pour into the various appeals and telethons. Governments, who are busy complaining of shortages and the need to raise taxes can be find vast sums at the drop of a hat to help out.

Some people could be limbo champions given the depths to which they can stoop. All those religious organizations, not least Scientologists swooping down to offer succor and aid, oh and by the way, do a little bit of recruiting. Between them and the journalists clogging up the airport, it’s no wonder aid is struggling to get in.

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