Well, okay, maybe not kill you as such, but, it is bad for you. Imagine my surprise, drinking 3 litres plus a day won’t do your health much good. Well, no shit, Sherlock! All that carbonate, sugar and carcinogenic shit, in such large quantities!!
Most surprising of all was the news that an Australian was drinking 4-10 litres a day!!! Of Cola!!! WTF!!! It’s a well known fact that lager comes out the taps Down Under, and this gallah was drinking upt0 25 cans of Cola every day, and then was surprised to suffer health problems. He is from Oz so I guess allowances should be made.
The other top news story of the day? Alfie, all upset to discover he didn’t father a child at the age of 12. Or is it his parents who are upset? Their handy pension of government benefits and special TV documentaries has been ripped from them, usurped by the 15 year old bully boy from down the street who happened to win the great sperm race, and it seems to have been keenly contested. At least three joined the queue claiming paternity, how many were too embarrassed to admit sneaking behind the bike sheds with Ms Munter???. Frankly, Alfie, you’ve had a lucky escape, whilst you’ve popped your cherry early, she was an absolute moose. You can now move on unencumbered to better things. Though I’d maybe wait a few years.
On to more mundane things now. The further adventures of the mighty RHC. The ones were due to visit Weirs on Saturday, but the wet Weegie weather left the match a Stadio Della Prod cancelled. The twos fared little better, reducing Stirling to 60-2 before rain forced an abandonment. The three’s though had to wait until Sunday before heading to Linlithgow to do battle with West Lothian 3.
After calling wrongly at the toss, skipper Mooro was left to give us the bad news. We were being put in to bat. Skippy and Tricky had first look and proceeded to get us off to a slow start, 1 an over for the first 10 overs, and it took that long for the first run off the bat. Still, this was pretty much to plan, as we were keeping wickets in hand. Tricky perished playing his first offensive shot, JK following not long after, playing on. Will played a couple of big shots before going for one too many, and Jonesy followed suit as the run rate increased. Skippy was playing the anchor role at the other end, calmly accumulating ones and twos. It was the arrival of Macca that swung things our way. (the less said about Rider’s golden duck the better). The big aussi set about the Wests bowlers with relish, only being stopped when Skippy couldn’t get out of the way of one screaming drive. Skippy reached his 50, closely followed by Macca, both perishing soon after. Mooro, Fraggle, Kev and Chappers all adding a few to the final tally of 192 for 9 off the 45 overs. Our biggest total since the first game for the new threes (which we don’t count as there was a ringer involved!).
After a decent tea, Wests began their reply. It was the usual tight stuff from Chappers and Kev, runs being very hard to come by. Good ground fielding served to increase the pressure before Chappers struck, removing the off stick. Macca came on for Kev and took two wickets in his first over, with Fraggle picking up scalps at the other end. The score was creeping along, never getting above 1 an over, and the home side were getting more anxious. The fielding was pretty much impeccable, and Mooro came on to tighten the noose further. His 9 overs yielding 3 wickets. Fraggle returned to finish things off, West Lothian dismissed for 45 in 35 overs. COM-PRE-HEN-SIVE.
So, two wins from two in our first season in Div 7, and a message sent to the rest of the teams that we won’t be pushovers. Last season we got by very much on our bowling attack. This year we still have a deep bowling lineup, but we’ve added some batting too. Most teams will tend to have a couple of bowlers they rely on, so conversely they expect to see off the opening bowlers and get runs from the change bowling. We don’t allow that to happen, we have strong options for 6 or 7 bowlers, none of whom will be taken apart regularly. A consecutive promotion is not outwith the bounds of possibility. So long as we don’t lose too many players to the twos.!!