Tag Archives: Ken Stott

The loneliness of the middle aged stripper

Thanks to the wonderful world of Twitter, I ended up reading this52?!?!?!?!  Unless Ohio is populated entirely by Wayne Rooney, what the heck kind of titty bars are they running over there.   I mean, no disrespect, and I’ve seen some fine looking women in their 50’s, but only bad things happen when they disrobe.  The suspect was at least a spring chicken in her 40’s…..I guess this place catered to a niche market, I know all strippers can’t be like Salma Hayek in “Dogma”, (actually no strippers are that good) but surely there should be some standards……oh well, it’s not like I’ll be visiting any of those establishments in the Buckeye State anytime soon.

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So Saturday so the mighty RHC 3’s shake of the winter rust with our first (only) preseason game, a visit to Murrayfield.  Wasn’t a bad effort, we were typically poor in he field, miserly with the ball and ham fisted with the bat.   But we won, thanks in part to yours truly holding his end up (ooer) for 40 minutes.  Took 2 for 24 off 7 overs as we held them to 85 all out.  Chased it down for 9 wickets, with me making a valiant 3 no out.   A minor triumph.  League season starts in two weeks…..

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OK, so, when is it going to be safe to turn on the TV/Radio or open a newspaper again?  Is there nothing else in the world going on but Susan Boyle?  She seems nice enough, and she lives not far from me, but, just because she looks like someones eccentric aunt, it’s not exactly shocking that she can sing is it?  She’s not going to change the world, end wolrd poverty, hunger and recession is she?  Maybe she is, maybe she’ll get together with Obama and sing the world back to health….please, let the woman be….and give me some f’ing sanity.

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I’m off, got dishes to do….and with a bit of luck I may get to sleep without dreaming of Ken Stott in a toga……

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Ken Stott?!?!?!

OK…I admit it, I’m a little bit obsessed with Football Manager at the moment.   I grew up playing those sort of games, and after a few years of near addiction to the Internet, I decided to buy the 2009 edition.  On the plus side, I’m not on the Internet nearly as much as I used to be, vacantly staring at screens doing not so much (and yes, the wife banning me from Facebook helped that), but, now I’m on FM every chance I can manufacture…..and I’m not exactly all that good at it.  However, the way it’s taking over my life is going too far now. 

There I am, in bed, sleeping nicely thank you very much when I start dreaming.  Not all that unusual really, but, it’s an FM infestation.  My club was struggling against relegation in the game, andmy dream revolved around the fact that the board wanted to get rid of me.  Except sacking me wasn’t an option, this was a full blown plot to force me into either topping myself or them hiring a hitman.  Players were “poisoned” against me, it was a living hell.  The real kicker however was that the dream was me watching a “dramatised for TV” version of the events, in which I was played by Ken Stott.  Ken Stott!?!?!?!  No disrespect to Mr Stott, who’s performances I’ve enjoyed in many shows, but, outside of Scottishness, we have nothing in common.  OK, so Brad Pitt wouldn’t be a realistic choice either, but Ken Stott?  I know I have low self esteem, but surely my psyche could’ve found someone a tad more, oh, I dunno, I mean christ, not even Michael “I can do anyone” Sheen….maybe I should just switch off the laptop!!

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On that subject, I will be doing just that very shortly.  Cricket season is underway, even here in the frozen north, and it’s our first pre-season match today.  Sadly it’s on the plastic at Roseburn, where it’ll be cold and miserable, but it’s action.  I’ve had nothing but one fielding session in preparation, so no doubt, I’ll be firing the ball all over the place (no real change there), a full report will follow, as will a preview of the upcoming league season, starting on May 2nd.

I’m off to Roseburn…..

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